Second Parent

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Despite a growing number of people who identify as LGBTQ, there are surprisingly few accounts of queer parenthood. Written by a lesbian, non-biological mother, this story fills the gap with perspective and grace. After her wife gave birth, Lora struggled to find her identity as a new parent and lesbian, non-biological mother. When she learned that the legal system did not fully recognize her parental status as a non-biological parent, she chose to do a "second parent" adoption. Initially, this further spurred feelings of inadequacy. She was not the bio-mom. She was the second parent, the other mother. As Lora's son grew, she grappled to fit into social and legal landscapes and even her own family. In this memoir, Lora shares an honest account of her journey into parenthood. She reflects on growing up with a mother living with mental illness and how that experience raised questions about her new role. With clarity and humor, Lora describes her new identity as a lesbian, non-biological mother, which grows to encompass the words parent, mother, and family. Second Parent is a current account of life as a queer parent, post 2016 United State's elections. This story acknowledges the frequently confusing patchwork of state legal systems affecting LGBTQ families. Lora describes her own narrative against this backdrop, as a lesbian, non-biological mother living in the Northwest.

Lora Liegel lives in Bellingham, Washington, the ancestral homelands of the Coast Salish Peoples. She lives with her wife and two children. Liegel is a writer, poet, and community connector. Liegel's writing focuses on the complex relationships we have with each other, ourselves, and with nature. Liegel's work has been informed by her extensive work and experience in the outdoors-on the trail, at farms, along the ocean, and in the great forests of the Pacific Northwest. Liegel is also the author of Second Parent: a memoir and creator of the Second Parent Project which connects lesbian and queer, non-biological mothers online. She holds an MA in Social Science. More at loraliegel.com